How to be Rude at a Birthday Party

My mother takes the cake with politically incorrect behavior when it comes to parties. Not sure about parties hosted by others, but she seems to commit many faux pas at the ones I host.

Yesterday was Shayna's 10th birthday party at the Franklin Institute. here are the impropriaties she committed:

1. Arrives one hour late to party. The invite is to meet host at 11:30am. I called my parents house at 11:15 and she was just getting into the shower. To really make it on time you need to leave by 10:30am (traffic, parking etc). Her excuse was she had to make french toast for everybody. My brother was staying at her house (family of 4) so she made french toast. any normal person knows that they need to start at X time to allow anough time to make said french toast and get ready to be ready to leave by 10:30am. with her its a combo of poor time management, poor planning, laziness, and rudeness.

2. annoyed at the party group going from one exhibit to the next.

3. at 3rd exhibit, when party host announces the group is leaving to go to the IMAX movie, she blatently ignores host (she was right next to her) and stays in the exhibit. I had to run back, leaving my guests, to get her and my dad. this threw off the time getting into the movie (still had to go to the bathroom with shayna) and shayna did not get her happy birthday announcement at the movie.

4. on way to IMAX, in elevator, she tried to start arguing with me about which floor to get off for the movie. Due to lack of time and rush getting there for movie, I could not explain why, but just "don't argue with me" and that we needed to go to the 3rd floor. I was told later that i should have let her get off at the 2nd floor (she would not have gotten into movie).

5. after the IMAX movie, as I was in the midst of chaos, trying to say goodbye to those leaving, and coordinating between a calling mom and her daughter, shortly after they announce they are leaving, she makes a scene after nagging me about using my dads camera (my battery died and I was borrowing his). she embarrasses both me and Shayna and Manny. mostly, she makes an ass of herself.

6. This happened BEFORE the party. Not sure WHY, but she decided to call the museum about 2 weeks or so before the party, to ask how much it would be for her to get in and how much for the IMAX movie. Not sure why she did this, maybe to know how much the party cost.

Queen of Quirky Gifts

My mom is the queen of gifts in poor taste, token gifts, or just not appropriate. I know a gift is a gift, but after receiving these it leaves you with the time consuming tasks of either returning/exhanging or figuring out what to do with them. most are from either dollar stores, or yard sales, so they usually wind up in the trash or re-gifted, or maybe even geocached?

I thought it would be good fodder to start listing them as they come along or as I remember them.

The most recent is the gift she gave for Shayna's birthday:

1. Nutcracker: Shayna said she wanted a REAL nutcracker, ie one that really cracks nuts. The ones sold are 99% of the time decorative. I told my mother specifically NOT to buy any nutcrackers unless the unlikely chance she finds a real nutcracker, which she won't. So she gives her not even a nutcracker that is real, but a nutcracker music box. It is obviously used and from a yard sale or thrift shop, a piece of junk.

2. American girl Doll, very small: she gave shayna and american girl book for christmas/hanukkah. made a big scene about taking shayna to the mall to get the matching doll. made a scene about how shayna must accompany her to the mall to get said doll, or she won't buy it unles Shayna is with her. shayna said she does not want the doll. case closed. Then she gives her the very same doll as a birthday gift.

This was some of the christmas/hanukkah gifts:

1. hanukkah paper menorah that opens up with candy underneath, basically a box of candy bought at drug store. hanukkah is over- so can not use this. TRASHED

2. for skyler: giant poster from dollar store with vowels and words with pictures. TRASHED

3. Box of Finding nemo valentines , given to Shayna. TRASHED. no comment needed.